Journey to the Kingdom of Florida - Part 7

Among other theme parks in Disney World we enjoyed Epcot the most. The kids seemed to enjoy the rides there though for most of the good ones the wait time were too long in some cases as much as 2 hours or more. I am always scared of any rides that have moving parts, simply afraid of the possibility where something could go wrong and the long wait time was a relief for me as I used this as an excuse to skip some of the serious rides. The only one that I went for was the rocket launch simulation. We were taken into a realistic looking cockpit of a rocket and had to go through the experience of a virtual launch process. It was definitely a great experience and seemed quite real. However, as far as I was concerned nothing really moved in reality, so no worries. Just to give you an idea why this ride can be slightly scary for some people - the rocket accelerates at a very fast pace and can cause serious nausea and even heart attack. To my relief I did just fine through the process but Mili started to feel very nauseous after the experience and had to be rested for several hours. She ended up spending hours lying down on a park bench while we went on to check out some other displays.

We stayed in Epcot pretty late and enjoyed a marvelous fire work show.

The theme park named Hollywood Studios was another good park to visit specially for young kids. The two events we really loved there were – Indiana Jones show and a car stunt show. Both were memorable shows. We also enjoyed some of the 3D-4D shows. The kids were quite occupied though they complained about the lack of rides. The whiners.

Indiana Jones show:

Car stunt show:

Our friends who were visiting Florida with us left on the fifth day. Our plan was to visit the Animal kingdom in the morning and drive to Miami in the afternoon. Considering Miami was only a few hours drive this seemed quite doable. Unfortunately it was a cooler day with a drizzle. I had earlier checked that weather in Miami was slightly warmer as it was further south. All of us were happy to move out of the sudden cold patch in Orlando. Among several things the safari in Animal kingdom was very good. It did give a solid experience of being in an African safari. Not to be missed.

The African Safari:

Taming of the Teenagers

Long time ago, back in my country of birth Bangladesh, as a boy I had my first introduction to Shakespeare through a television drama, a translated version of the famous play ‘Taming of the Shrew’. It must have had a deep impact on me because I still remember it – more than three decades later. For the readers who are not aware of the play, very concisely: a newly married man resorts to clever means to tame his wife – the vicious and ill-tempered daughter of a rich man. What does it has anything to do with the teenagers? You must have already guessed.

I’ll take a step back at this point. It would be difficult for anybody to not take note of the Shafia murder case where the head of the family planned and killed four family members – three teen age daughters and their dotting step mother with the help of his other wife and young adult son. Aside from the fact that the jury has returned a verdict of guilty if one scrutinizes the bits and pieces of evidences against the defenders (shared by the police) there remains not a shred of doubt that they have done it. An appeal is in progress we learn. Whatever happens at the end that barely changes the fact that the murders were committed solely based on the defiance of the three teenage sisters. It takes little observation to find out that the way of life that the three demised sisters were attracted to isn’t anything out of the world. The truth is in the western societies such lifestyle is becoming increasingly common for young adults – early sexual endeavors, provocative dress up, propensity for drugs and defiance against parents or any kind of authority figures. Let’s forget about the Shafias and shift our attention to the teenagers in general, especially the ones who are out of control - disobedient, addicted or simply deviant from the established family values or life styles.

One must wonder whether this phenomenon is primarily impacting the Muslim communities due to their general reluctance to accept excessively liberal social behavior of young adults, especially of women. Often westerners with generations of ties to the local culture foster a view that the inability of the new immigrants to blend into their new surroundings is a sure sign of narrow faith based practices. The truth is the problem doesn’t solely lie with the immigrating population who may have relatively conservative views. Part of the blame must also be borne by the existing western society.  A quick research on the net revealed hundreds of local families completely outwitted and helpless with their defiant, troublemaking, sexually active young adult kids – boys or girls, some parents even went as far as to ask for legal advices on forcing the kids out of their lives, forever, something that is called emancipation (a term used to free slaves which is irreversible). This to me is a sure sign of encroaching social trouble brewing at the very core level. 

Folks who have flocked in the western countries to escape either harsh conditions back home or simply to ensure a better life for their next generations are rarely closed minded; if they were they wouldn’t be stepping out in the first place. However, it is not totally fair to expect that one would simply give up their cultural and moral heritage and allow their kids to get sucked into a social travesty that is increasingly being blamed for higher rate of unwanted pregnancies, underage drunkenness, drug addiction and youth crime. This writer believes the existing western society must morph into something more acceptable to allow the incoming population a fair chance to integrate. What is bad is bad – here, there, anywhere. 

Now the question is why do the teenagers act the way they do?

 A little research revealed some basic but important information:

·         Recent studies show that neural insulation isn't complete until the mid-20s. This would have definite impact on how a teenager thinks.

·         Two common problems that teens (as well as pre-teens) usually suffer from – ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) and CD (Conduct Disorder). ODD is a pattern of behavior that can be defined as negativistic, hostile, and defiant.  CD is a repetitive pattern of aggressive or nonaggressive behaviors against people, animals or property. 

·        The cause of excessive disobedience may be the outcome of many things: puberty, dysfunctional family, high expectation in achievements in life, easy access to addictive stuff, peer pressure from kids of too lenient families, working parents not spending enough time with the kids, no proper system in the family etc.

Next - how do we handle the troublemakers? What to do as a parent if you are in a situation where your teenage children are engaging into activities that you simply cannot approve?

The available choices are not always easy. Let’s try to itemize the ‘Do’-s and ‘Don’t Do’-s.

·        No harm policy: Do not hurt, harm, even when you are mad. Remember, many kids turn around and put together their lives once they pass the tumultuous years.

·        Preventive measures:

o        Spend more time with them

o        Try being less controlling, allowing them some space to roam.

o        Be cool, learn anger management. Defiant kids often do things just to get their parents mad.

o        Try sharing some family related responsibility.

o        Pick your battles. Don’t pick on everything they do.

o        Have a good family bondage. That is probably the best defense.

·        Seek help of the professionals:  Youth Counselors, psychologists, psychiatrist

·        Boot camp: Worth trying if nothing else seems to be working.

·        Seek Legal Advice: In some situations you may be better off speaking to a lawyer first

·        Emancipation: The absolute last resource.  Once they are 18. If you can’t live with them, let them free. Each state/province may have specific regulations. 

A defiant kid regardless of their age is probably the one nightmare that no parent wants to have.  Unfortunately, at some point of their life each kid behaves badly, more or less. The truth is, there are no panacea that would be effective in handling every kid and every situation but it has been proven that with patience, strong family bondage and genuine love it is possible to turn them around. The question is, as parents, do we have what it takes?

Barrie Winterfest 2012

Every year one thing we religiously try to do - visit a winter festival. Having immigrated from South East Asia, we are sucker for warmer weather and as soon as the air starts to chill in this part of the world with the approach of winter we quickly coil into a shell and rarely peek out of that unless and until something really pressing happens. I personally am not by any means much into adventure, and mind it to us skiing is no less scary than rock climbing. The kids love snow so every now and then we put on our heaviest cloths and knee long boots and reluctantly accompany them outside into the snow. Sometimes, when the temperature is not too low and the annoying wind chill is not hovering in the deep negativity we even enjoy the experience. But that rarely happens. Nevertheless, traditions are made, somehow. And it was one of our traditions to visit a winter festival every year. Over the years we went to Ottawa, Cobourg, Ajax, Sault St. Marie (the famous Bon Soo) and some other minor ones. This year we decided to check out the Barrie Winterfest. It was quite apparent from the beginning that Barrie wasn't anywhere near as big as the Ottawa or Bon Soo festivals but then we wanted it to be just a one day visit. From GTA it was only about an hour long drive provided the traffic was acceptable and no accidents took place in the dreaded Hwy 400.

On February 4th Saturday we drove to Barrie. The drive went very well. We were there by 11 AM. The Winterfest took place in the Heritage Park right next to almost frozen Lake Simcoe. The festival it self wasn't very grandiose in look and feel and activities but the thousands of people who gathered there to celebrate it made the real difference. It did feel like a festival. The temperature were hovering just around zero degree Centigrade but as the location was near the lake it felt much colder than that.

My finger tips and toes lost most of the feelings by the time we were just half an hour  into our excursion through the park. Kids usually like the tall icy slides. Here there was a short one , nothing in comparison to what we have seen in Ottawa and Bon Soo but I guess we weren't expecting much either.
The sorry part was that even this small slide was so rough that most could slide only a few feet before halting in a total stop. The adults could care less but the kids grunted all the way to home.

 Horse cart. We ended up not taking it. 

 There was a helicopter offering ride for CAD 45/person. None from our group went any near than what can be seen in this picture.

They did like the small frozen water body inside the park where everybody skidded and rolled. Even the adults had some safe adventure walking on the thick frozen ice. 

 The kids also liked the big rolling balls.

There was a carnival that hooked itself at the end of the Winterfest. They had several rides, relatively expensive at almost 4-5 dollars per person for each ride, but the kids seemed to like them. We stayed in the festival for about couple of hours before everybody was cold and wanted to retreat. Later we visited the Pizza hut located on Bayfield road and had quite a party with about 20 people in the group.

 The mini roller coaster. Young girls loved it.

 The spinner. The preteens found something to talk about after this ride.

 Barrie downtown near Winterfest

 We returned to GTA only to gather in one of our friend's house and party until it was early morning. Overall, for a days outing, it wasn't all that bad. The kids didn't particularly find the Winterfest that enjoyable but hey they rarely finds anything interesting any more.

Journey to the Kingdom of Florida - part 6

The experience of visiting the Disney Land can only be truly described with pictures. The kids were very excited to go to the Magic Kingdom. The trip to Magic Kingdom was quite interesting as well. First we drove to the Disney Land parking lot. Next we had to take the tram to go to the next junction from where we could either take the train or the boat to reach Magic Kingdom – a short distance away. We decided for the boat on our way to and the train way back. There was a short wait time to board the large boat that carried several hundred passengers. The trip was short but quite dramatic. Especially the view of the famous castle in the Magic Kingdom was spectacular. Once inside we were greeted with a dense crowd which over the next several hours grew and grew to a point where one could barely walk through. Eventually the facility was declared full and no new visitors were being brought in. It is a great site for the little ones but may not be as good for the preteens and older kids. My son was a bit bored here. The rides he wanted to go were so crowded that we didn’t even try. For some very simple rides wait was more than hours. The open air show at the castle was great and very enjoyable.

One of the best times the kid had in Florida was probably when we visited Sea World’s Aquatica. It was a relatively warmer day (I had changed my schedule according to the weather forecast the night before) and the water facility was excellent. There were things to keep kids of all ages occupied. While Far enjoyed the medium sized water slides and other several water gazettes in the large water play area, Zak was more interested in the very tall rides. Unfortunately I am truly scared of heights and Mili did not dare to go alone with Zak in some of the really high rides. However she did agree to go to the water slide that from the ground looked like up in the sky. Mother and son followed the line of patrons (mostly kids) through the hundreds of stairs and minutes later came sliding down where I was waiting along with Far. I did notice a few little girls who had just gone through the slide smirking at me but I remained undeterred. My heart meant much more to me then some stupid ego. Mili and Zak both seemed to be quite moved by the rush of the sliding down from such a height. They both enjoyed it the most but did not want to return. Zak mentioned ‘from the top it felt like they were going to die’. It was brave on his part. The mother son duo went through another ride little later – something with less height but more speed.

In Aquatica I enjoyed the wave pool very much. So did the kids. The waves were scheduled every 15 minutes. The sand was very soft and white. Nice place to have some descent, fear free fun.

Seaworld was simply great! The shows and the animals were out of the world. The only way to express it will be images.

An evening with Ex-cadets

It was a nice evening with a touch of cold, a Saturday, possibly the best day of the week for an office worker. It had snowed the day before; the first good snow in GTA this winter, a thin sheet of white crystals covered the ground. The temperature had risen earlier the day and the rain in the morning partially melted the snow. This was a double jeopardy. We loved snow, especially the kids, but then who could pass on the warmer weather?

The party, more accurately a get-together, was scheduled at 6 PM. Had it been between the years 1978 and 1984, during my pathetic stint as a cadet in one of those prestigious and somewhat privileged institutions in Bangladesh, I would have gotten ready by 4 PM, had the family marched into the family van by 4:30 PM and made the hour long trip to be at the venue at 5:30 PM with 30 minutes to settle down. This was however 2012, January the 21^st, 28 years had passed by since I graduated from Cadet College and all my training about discipline and punctuality had long evaporated. It was now out of my grasp to figure out how a 6 PM party can start before 8 PM? There’s something called rationality, right?

The gods of traffic looked upon me mercifully and the roads seemed devoid of any usual troubles – rather amazingly, forcing me to cover the distance in little over half an hour. The kids, two of mine and one of my friend, 11, 10 and 6 respectively, had been upset about the weird party where they learned all the grouchy old people from schools called cadet colleges located in Bangladesh were supposed to show up.

  The venue seemed to impress the trio, one good thing. As a parent it is a continuous struggle for me to ensure that they are happy and content and in return provide me the peace of mind I so cherish. I had never been to this place before. The Ellas Banquet Hall located on 35 Danforth Road looked quite elegant, neatly organized, bright and specious and most of all relieving with ample parking spot.

 Greeted cordially by a few of the organizers, inevitably other fellow ex-cadets, most of who I had never met but knew by name from my earlier correspondence through the group email that the young and enthusiastic group of organizers had set up. A small contribution made and a name tag with details of my cadet persona imprinted I followed the family into the hall room – a high ceiling and specious place with rows of round tables running across the length, each arranged to host about a dozen guests. Following the email chains earlier I had learned that the response to the call for the get-together had been overwhelming and the organizers expected the number of guests to be no less than hundred and fifty – a considerable number remembering the fact that this was the first ever gathering of ex-cadets from all cadet colleges in this city, perhaps in the country, some may even go as far as to say in the world outside of Bangladesh. While ex-cadets from the same cadet colleges met sometimes, there hasn’t been any known occasion where attempts were taken to arrange a grand reunion with all cadet collages, away from home. It was a night to cherish, a night to remember – just for the mere reason for making it happen - setting apart all the great things that followed in the next several hours as the evening danced into the night.

We picked a table in the rear, one still not taken, took off our coats and jackets and settled into the sturdy chairs as the kids quickly joined dozens of other kids in the specious lobby, some even starting a game of hide and seek.  FInding them happy I relaxed into a chair thanking the volunteers who had worked diligently to bring all of us together there, under the roof of that beautifully bright place with a podium and professionally dressed stuff offering appetizers to the guests. The list with all of their names can be found at the end of this article.

As the evening progressed the size of the conglomeration grew at a rate surpassing expectation. A final count gave away amazing numbers – in total 82 ex-cadets and their families had convened, a few from as far as Montreal, some approaching their golden years while many others are still pursuing their higher studies in universities located in Windsor, Kitchener, London areas. The grand total turned out to be 212 – two thirds of that was adults with the rest kids. Several ex-cadets who had immigrated to Canada in recent years and are yet to bring their spouses showed up alone. 

Can’t be sure when the scheduled programs actually began but the place looked so bustling with well dressed, cheerful and energetic crowd that there seemed to be very little need of anything else to happen.   While the ex-cadets chatted, laughed and seek out other cadets who they might have not seen for a while, their spouses were equally eager to gather with friends and acquaintances and the kids merrily ran back and forth the long corridors and the hall room when they weren’t busy playing Gameboys or complaining about boredom.  The warmth of the crowd was touching, the gentle demeanors pleasing and the healthy murmur that resonated was heartwarming. At some point the scheduled programs did start under the efficient guidance of the three delightful conductors – Farid(JCC,74), Rimon (SCC,88) and Iftikhar (FCC,89) followed by an excited Hassan Mahmood (FCC 84) , my good old friend of 27 years from Dhaka University, paving the path to others by introducing ex-cadets of FCC who were present in the audience. (For the full list please refer to the end of this document).

A program itinerary had been prepared and brochures were printed. Though rarely the audience calmed down enough to give full attention to anybody whatsoever, amid this pleasant chaos things did move on – from singing the national anthem of both Bangladesh and Canada, introduction of ex-cadets and sponsors to video presentation of all Cadet Colleges reminiscing old and present days skillfully put together by Rimon and his wife, an elaborate look at the web site under development (a list of the ex-cadets volunteering that effort  is included at the end of this essay), a cultural program that accommodated several of the kids belonging to the ex-cadets who danced, sung, recited, played instruments to much amusement of the full house (a list of the participants are included at the end of this writing) followed by kids favorite cake cutting lead by Brigadier (Retd.) Kalam Shahed, an ex-cadet from the first batch of JCC , group pictures of all ex-cadets followed by their spouses and children.

 The Indian themed dinner stood in between healthy and delicious with plenty to go around.

Later reputed singer Chondan took over the stage and entertained the cheerful audience through the night to early morning when the enchanted guests had to finally call it a night and bid a gleeful bye to this amazing event.        

There may be mixed feelings about cadet colleges in Bangladesh, considering the high cost that is inevitably attached to them, an obvious outcome in the process to filter out the best young minds and to train and educate them in the best possible way, in an elite private school type settings, to create an especial group of people who would lead the nation as members of not only defense forces but also as civilians. Their numbers are miniscule in comparison to the total number of students coming out of higher secondary education system but their attitude and enthusiasm toward life is undoubtedly discernable. While there is no accurate data or elaborate study to determine the actual benefit of the cadet colleges, looking at that gathering of bright, educated, conscious men and women accompanied by their equally bright spouses and tech savvy ultra smart kids, one might dare to suggest that the sacrifices of the dotting mother has been rewarded. Regardless of age and success measured in materialistic scale, the love, dedication and promise that were so prominent in that crowd that it took no difficulties to figure out that the avalanche of goodwill and conscience would inevitably ripple across the continents to the little piece of land with wiggly borders, the land we call Bangladesh.  Just the thought of all the impossible-s that will one day be accomplished by the men, women and the kids I stood among was simply overwhelming.

This was an event that will be remembered for many months to come and hopefully will return in the coming years with enhanced vigor and enthusiasm. 

A special mention:

Md. Ataullah, one of the visionaries of this get-together had to travel to Bangladesh on a short notice to see his ailing grandmother who eventually passed away. May she rest in peace.

The volunteers:

Nazmul Hasan FCC; Hasan FCC; Hainf FCC ; Iftikhar Uddin FCC ; Anis FCC; Hasib FCC; Mahfil MCC ; Tareq Saifur Rahman MCC ; Shamsul Muktadir RCC ; Hanif Suhrawardi RCC ; Sadique Syed JCC ; Rimon Mahmud SCC ; Md. Ataullah SCC ; Sohel Islam SCC ; Arshadul Islam PCC ; Anwar Kabeer PCC ; Golam Hyder BCC ; Shoeb Ahmed BCC ; Asif Ahmed BCC ; Mobinul Islam CCC ; Nahid CCR ; Farzana Naheed MGCC ;

Brochure designer:  Mahfil - MCC 87

The ex-cadets who introduced the members of their respective cadet colleges:

FCC - Hasan (84); JCC -  Sadique (90) ; MCC -  Saif ; RCC -  Hanif (96)   ; SCC -  Rimon (88); CCR -  Nahid (95) ; BCC -  Shoeb (90) ; PCC -  Anwar (90) ;  CCC -  Mobin (90); MGCC – Nipa (86)

Web-site preparation: Ex-Cadets Anwar (PCC, 90), Mobin (CCC, 90), Shoeb (BCC, 90) and Hanif (RCC, 96). Ex-Cadet Kishore (RCC,79). 

The performers:  A. Rahman (FCC, 90), Jolly (wife of Shahidul, FCC 86), Ivana (daughter of Rimon, SCC 88), Tushmit (Daughter of Iftikhar, FCC 89), Jasia (daughter of Shahidul, FCC 86), Preetul (daughter of Badrul Rashid, RCC ), Preetul (daughter of Pasha, PCC 88), Obilia (daughter of Hasan, FCC 84), Tapti (daughter of Hasan, FCC 84), Rodella (daughter of Hanif, RCC 96), Hanif (RCC, 96), Umree (wife of Nahid, CCR 95), Rayan (son of Arifa, MGCC 90) and Farid (JCC, 74).

The ameteaur singing trio A. Rahman (FCC, 90), Sadique (JCC, 90) and Anis (FCC, 96) deserve an especial mention for their immensely entertaining chorus of popular Bangladeshi songs.  

Sponsors:

 Anwar Kamal (RCC, 85) (Real State – Home Life)

Shafik (JCC, 86) (Business person – Rose Brand) 

List of participating Cadet Colleges:

FCC – Faujdarhat Cadet College

JCC – Jhenaidah Cadet College

MCC – Mirzapur Cadet College

RCC – Rajshahi Cadet College

SCC – Sylhet Cadet College

PCC – Pabna Cadet College

MGCC – Mymensingh Girls Cadet College

CCR – Rangpur Cadet College

BCC – Barisal Cadet College

CCC – Comilla Cadet College